Bugeyed tired, Cantalouphead first arrived in Bangkok after 24 hours of travel with a slightly noxious feeling, sort of like he had disembodied himself; a vague recollection of a Gibson novel reminding him that his soul was still floating somewhere over the Bering Strait. “my eyes are burning” cantaloupe muttered as he walked from customs with apparent ease, scratching his underwear away from his sweaty inner thighs and wondering if his stomach was feeling odd from all that travel or the unidentifiable apple jelly desert he just finished, courtesy of cute and smiley japan airline stewardesses. Little did he realize the vast array of tastes he was about to encounter in Thailand, his favorite hobby, eating, about to be the most coveted of all hobbies he was ever to concentrate on.

Jenn, his partner in crime, subject of all his heartfelt romantic affectation, cohort, best of friends, lover, and for virtue of significance and recent relationship developments, his girlfriend, met him at the airport and lead him bewildered and confused (a pattern that seems to still happily continue) to her downtown guest house, avoiding tourist 20 dollar tourist trap cabbies and overtly vicious tuk tuk drivers to the local bus which cost about 20 cents or something. Buses are made of teak wood and although look large are fit for the Thai average, about 5 foot 3, although don’t be caugh without grip on something, becuase they drive like maniacs at all hours of the day, and don’t ever really stop, expecting you to jump on and off like you might imagine mel gibson would do in lethal weapon. “Jenn is smart and wonderful and knows how to be sly and softhearted as she needs to be, and she is quite impressively capable in this massive sprawl of a chaotic order that is called Bangkok.”

I think Sargeant Cantalouphead was a bit hesitant to meet Jenn at first, travelling with someone can be a difficult prospect you know, and was worried that he might be dependant on her knowledge thus far and silly things like that, but has recently realized that things couldn’t really be better. Jenn and The fruithead complement each other in fact, where Jenn is sharp eyed and always alert, ever aware of potential danger, she chooses her path with expert foresight and is an awesome navigator through ultra confusing and complex streets, corridors, alleys, and buildings, where as Sargeant tends to get a bit lost you know, dawdling in places he shouldn’t, stopping to look at roses so to speak, or the orchids I should say, or maybe even a pattern in broken concrete or something, often talking to people with fake smiles and sinister ambitions. “The best part about us though,” cantalouphead cuts in, “is that we both love food and adore finding new treats to taste” smiling he rests his stomach on his knees, fully satiated after days of eating and now wondering about the next meal, thinks that perhaps his approach to the topic of food and Thailand should be saved for an entry in itself.